A Lot To Say
Something’s caught inside and it must escape before time runs out and it’s too
late. I can’t hide it anymore it’s driving me mad. This feeling that I’ve never before
had. How do I tell him? How do I make it clear? That I hold feelings for him and I
won’t release them because of fear. I can’t quite explain it but I’m afraid of being
hurt. He says he’d never do that but before I’ve lain in the dirt. A pool of mud
where someone I cared for left me. Now when it’s time to love, trust is a little
hasty. I understand my feelings but I’m not sure if he’ll accept them. He told me
he’s never experienced love so why with me. I don’t want him to say it back just to
make me happy. If it’s there then it’s great if not then I’ll cry. But how do I reveal
such strong feelings to one unloving guy? Things like this are supposed to
happen in movies, so why in real life? This guy is my world, my one true love, my
life. But he doesn’t know it and I want to tell him before he goes away. If he
knows that wont change too much, I know he wont stay. But relief would fall upon
me and my tears will go away. Not tears from deceit or hurt or heartbreak. But
tears from not revealing what’s right in his face. I don’t apprehend why my heart
doesn’t let it free. But I have so me emotions bottled up in me. To hold it in isn’t
good, to let it out could be worse. These feelings are good but I’d wish they’d
reverse. Only until I had enough time or courage to be myself. And say what I’m
feeling like everyone else. But it’s not that easy. I’m not used to things like this.
But I knew I loved him when we shared our very first kiss. It was nothing I had
before and to this day it’s what I miss. Even though we’ve had plenty more that
first one will last forever. My heart will never forget it. No mater where I am with
whom ever where ever
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