A Love Letter 2
I was waiting on a modem and had a trusted friend send you the last email.
All confusion has left me.
I feel so different, and such sweet serenity, solance at times, and waves of tears as thinking of the way people as you must feel about me. Finally by faith, perserverence I am healed and I am not dancing in public at any writing site.
I have written my sentiments and I am going back home to the foot hills that I am from. The elders in the next years are going to have what they call a house raisin' John! That is where all the neighbors get together and bring stuff, and when they raise the frame, its sort of celebrating, everyone is happy and they do not stop until it is done.
They want me home John. I never fit in anywhere in the world, only there and its been a very rough road. I love you. This much I do know.
People that knew me before, think that I need MORE medication, because they do not know what has happened to me. It is sad in many ways, I cannot be myself around people that doubt me and I am really getting pretty because I am happy now. If some day you could ever forgive me from your heart for the estranged things I said out of context and for being mean, decitful and jeleous, I hope you can find that in your heart?
Will you know I love you when I say nothing? Will you fade away? Will you never know who I am.?
I honestly can lone those foot hills the rest of my life. I will love you still through the silent nights, the winds cease and the shadows leave, for more and more I find a friend in Jesus.
I don't want hurt anymore, and the times we had, the seasons we beared, was not nice, not as love should be. Yet I am so full of life at the possibility of my love that I kept so securely hidden in innocence, to one day reveal my truth of my love to one in my life would be so tender and gentle to me. I'll be walking the dirt roads, where noone has ever walked beside me or held my hand.
I've seen enough of this world and it hurts me but love is not dirty back where I'll reside. Loning through life, your love will always be there, you said you would be there in spirit and I belive that so much. I just cannot fit in with people baby, and I was hurt so deeply that after many years, I couldn't reveal how I truly felt becuse I built a barrier so no one would hurt me. You helped me know love, and forever I will love you. Love shouldn't be dirty at all.
I just want to go home.
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