A Love Note To a Strange Boy
I know you won't see this
but I must say how I felt the last half of year or so.
I was a coward
but for good reason
for I knew my love was a gross romanticization and was nothing true.
Yet still I wish to tell you of my diluted fancies and musings.
So here I write out this in hopes of moving on and letting go my childish crush.
Dear Brandon
Your smile made my heart leap and my mind lighten.
It killed my most depressing thoughts and made me giggle like a school girl.
I know this is a tired internet phrase, but your smile could cure cancer.
I saw a moodiness and deepness that I wished to know
but I think you keep that from strangers eyes
and I was too shy and awkward to reach out and touch it.
Anyone could praise you for your fantastic sense of humor;
A humor that made me burst out laughing at the most inappropriate times
and steal my attention.
You are delightfully weird;
weird and improper in the best way.
Your sense of fall/winter style is endearingly bad,
wearing nothing but sweatpants and the same hoodie for MONTHS.
It would of looked horrible on anyone else
but you pulled it off.
The way you walk is almost a graceful lumber.
All long, thin limbs finding their way through movement and space.
I almost told you that I liked your hands one time
but I thought that might be a creepy thing to say.
I did say something about your hair though,
about it being ridiculously long,
covering your bright eyes.
Yet again though, you pulled that terrible look off too.
I loved you in some odd, shallow way
but we were not even friends.
I gave you my number,
you never called.
I didn't ever see you with a phone but maybe I'm just making excuses.
I should of taken the hint
and I guess looking from the outside,
it seems like I did.
I was too awkward to pursue,
too insecure.
I thought I would bore you terribly
and you didn't seem very interested anyway.
I regret keeping my distance
but it could be for the best.
I don't know.
All I know is that,
for a time,
you were the sweetest thing on my mind
and that I got butterflies every time I saw you
and even a bit (immaturely) jealous when you talked to lovelier girls then I.
I know that you still pop up in my dreams
and my heart
from time to time.
I know I loved you in that weird, fanciful way that young girls love.
I hope life brings you happiness
and that you stay the same quirky boy that I had the pleasure to meet all those months ago.
In short, thank you for existing in this world.
Sincerely,
Tori F
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