A Mothers Anger
“One more word, just one more word!’’ before I start to break,
I feel the anger rising up, I tremble and I shake.
I try to think it’s not their fault, their only little kids,
But it isn’t enough to stop the anger breaking through the lid.
I leap to them with vacant eyes screaming “that is it!”
Grabbing at their little arms while I curse hiss and spit.
Dragging them to their bedrooms, throwing them to the floor,
Storming out to get away, slamming at the door.
Next I’m in my bedroom, my head held in my hands,
Trying hard to calm myself while I figure out a plan.
“Help me someone, help me please,” I mumble quietly,
“I just can’t take this anymore,” I pray to god, I plea.
10 minutes pass, the storm has gone, I’ve realised how I’ve been,
The calm makes me aware of this and guilt has now set in.
I slowly make my way into the quietness of their rooms,
Their little red faces wet with tears from their mother’s angry fume.
“I’m sorry darling for hurting you, I just got really mad,
I never meant to make you cry, or meant to make you sad”.
I hug them tight and tell them that I love them very much,
Hoping that their still comforted by their mothers touch.
“I need you to be helpful, I need you to be good”,
“Ok” they say in solemn tone, with hope they understood.
Wiping away remaining tears of the sadness that had been,
Hiding every single trace of the anger that they’d seen.
Now once again all is well, this feels a happy home,
Motherhood is oh so sweet when the angers overblown.
It’s all so unpredictable, when push comes to shove,
One day it fits so perfectly, the next it’s hard to love.
The trials and tribulations of motherhood, I’ve had,
Some days it comes so easily, some days it seems so bad.
I used to think I’m teaching them the ways and how to be,
But as time passes quickly by I cannot help but see,
That their the ones teaching me, in many ways then one,
They’ve taught me of a selfless love that comes from being a mum,
Self control is what I lack, they’ve taught me how to see,
If I don’t control my anger, my anger controls me.
So next time that you feel you just can’t take it anymore,
Don’t grab their little arms and shut them out behind a door,
But realise there’s a lesson that their teaching you right there,
And hold them close gratefully, with tender loving care.
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