Always Part of Me
When I was a very young girl a tragedy filled my world
I watched my sister's blood soak the snow on the street
she died while I stood with mom ... I still hear mom screaming
and I went into a silent world and though I heard- I refused to speak
I was in a dark and lonely place, so alone, so lost, so afraid, and sad
Then, grandma reached into my dark world with her kind voice
she would sit me on her knee and tell me her made up stories
you see, grandma was the family storyteller and I loved her so much
she will always and forever be my part of my heart and soul
I listened to so many of her stories and I became a storyteller too
I can recall watching her face while she spoke a story to the family
and I was fascinated with her facial expressions and tone of voice
though, I had heard her stories hundreds of times I would still listen
she encouraged me to write- giving me a journal and special pen
grandma told me to write my sadness and I did and I still do
We would read what I had written over "a nice cup of tea"
and we would hug and let our tears fall- she encouraged me to write
"write it, write it for the world to read' - (I do grandma, I do !)
grandma is a reflection of who I am today as a writer, I honor her
and all my hurts I write ... though sad they are beautiful, so beautiful
When grandma died at ninety-four she could not speak anymore
her voice had been silenced by old age and she died quietly in her sleep
I was shattered yet insisted on speaking at her catholic funeral
writing seven pages about my grandma and what she meant to me
I stood at the front of the church trembling- her casket a distraction
But, when I went to speak a great wind took my papers away
they floated around the church like they had wings and I was unsure
but I heard a voice ("you don't need them") and I started talking
I talked and talked about my grandma, me, and her stories
when I finished, there was silence- except for the sound of weeping
In that moment ... I knew the power of words and of storytelling
grandma blessed me with her gift- the Lord blessed me with writing
when I think of gran's face it is with so much love, her smile beautiful
I will see my grandma Helena again ... she is waiting for me in Heaven
and when we meet- she will say, "lets have a nice cup of tea"
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