Love Poem: And Speaking of
Matthew Bailey Avatar
Written by: Matthew Bailey

And Speaking of

This isn't the way we should walk into this
And my SOS signal didn’t seem to bring God into it
Just like shaking people's hands doesn't gift us world peace 
And speaking of shaking hands,
You're in a panic, 
You’re in shock from seeing this life burn right in front you 
You can't heal from this tribulation  
Without mastering the tourniquet and succumbing to the stitch 

You can't just throw yourself into this 
And I have yet to find a clue that we didn't proceed with 
Nothing to prove here,
I have the evidence in a hidden file in the back of my mind
Like a written confession that washes up on shore
These words were never meant to be publicized
And you never meant for your lies to be romanticized  
But I guess you didn’t know that’s simply what I do best 
The bigger they are,
The harder they fall   
Just collapse into the bed where every morning, you spawn
Living in your head where we’re already in the dystopian aftermath
But it’s not real! You made this happen 
And now I can’t get out of this savior complex 
where I’m picking up the pieces 
And your fear of mirrors is so strong 
I can’t be sure you won’t break them faster than a heart that you remember scarred you
And broken glass is what I feel like sometimes,
Shattered but too dangerous to ignore 
and we see ourselves projected everywhere 
but we deny it like we’re on trial for murder
And speaking of, 
You gave his indepence a one-sided burial 
You didn’t even have to dig, 
The day you overdosed him with disappointment,
Is the day he lost reception 
One day you'll think you were spared and looking down at hell 
but soon you’ll realize through the disdain, that it's just a reflection 
And the opposite of addiction is connection 
Soon they’ll understand that stain on the floor isn’t wine 
Please rip off the mask
And tell me that's not the only thing I mean to you
And there’s so much distance 
I didn’t realize you broke the snowglobe I forced us in 
And I overheard you say
Now there's nothing besides lying to do 
so go ahead and send your best attempts at sympathy 
Through the cup on the wall you run your voice through 

You never call when you need help
Only three hours after the ambulance arrives 
And these rewirings have due dates 
And I never close the connection on time 
Where are you running with such a clouded mind?
There's nowhere else to go but here 
And you know this can't be done without fostering a war crime 
There's nowhere else to go but here
It's never too late to shed a tear 
But we know this motivations been slandered in the name of fear 
Lying is a full time job
Ripping off the skin suit, 
I could feel the way my hands were no longer shaking 
But lying is a full time job 
And I'm racking up these hours like 
The line at the DMV 

It's not a weapon,
It's delusional versatility 
I've got a glove box full of matches  
And an adrenaline river waiting to be petty
And I’m pouring the gasoline in a ring around us
So it’s unsafe to be away from me 
This isn't our story 
I had my moment of glory 
but it drowned in this adrenaline river 
that I just couldn't get my head over 

When will you realize that it wasn’t the cabernet that spilled? 
Congratulations! 
You found a way to chip at this wall I’ve constructed between us
But don’t mess this up 
‘Cause I don’t think you can chip faster than I can build