Annette
Annette, do I ever have
a cameo in your dreams?
Is it memorable enough
you question what it means?
Cuz you have a lead role
in my incomplete script;
my imagination wont let you die
and it wont let me live.
You were the sanity
in a line-up of disorders –
a nation of autonomy
between tumultuous borders.
I was a horoscope;
I was a forecast –
unpredictable day to day,
but just the same as the past.
Well, how does the future look?
Is the picture more focused?
And is the past as quiet now
as a kind gesture gone unnoticed?
I’d take one more day with you
for a lifetime without,
cuz it’d be one more day
than I expect to see you now.
Please don’t let them tell you
these words have no meaning,
cuz I’m coming to visit
tonight while you’re dreaming.
I’m coming for a bigger part
and I don’t need any fanfare;
cuz I can charm you once we’re face to face,
and play dirty to get there.
I spend too much time
wondering how
so much time came and went
to bring me to now.
Cuz now is ugly
truly considering
the places I’ve already been
and will never see again.
Oh, that innocence
was the magnet you clung to.
But once it’s replaced with arrogance,
it takes a miracle to undo.
But I believe in miracles,
or at least my definition,
because the options are minimal
and one is submission.
At times it seems I was born to hurt
and document how it feels;
how lucky to have a chapter read
by someone born to heal.
You said melody was everywhere,
I just needed to listen.
But if life’s a musical,
this must be intermission.
And I’m so sorry dear
for being such a burden –
for walking you to the stage
and hiding behind the curtain.
There’s only one reason
to ever hesitate;
it might be logical
if it’s logical to be afraid.
And if you settle out of fear,
second-guess those who condone it;
cuz I promise they’ve never felt
like us for one moment.
Annette, I’ve been loneliest
since I last saw you;
if there’s a point where it all makes sense,
it’s a place I can't get to.
I try not to cry out loud;
I keep it all in my memoirs.
Cuz y’know, the wounded, love,
take no pride in battle scars.
I hope you wouldn’t be embarrassed by
a moment of weakness –
if you called me Chaddy
and I called you Sweetness.
History says we'll grow apart
and lead separate lives;
but if you ever change your mind,
I’ll remove my disguise.
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