Assumptions
I know what you're thinking,
No she is not my mother she is my wife,
She looks old due to the drinking,
But this is just her way of life,
She loves her Booze and fags,*
Just can't get enough of her favourite sauce,*
All her friends are all the same, old hags,
Cider and cheap wine of cause,
I know what you're thinking,
That's because i'm a handsome chap,
You fancy me that's why you keep winking,
But carry on and you will get a slap,
I know she has her faults, so what,
Perhaps you think I could do better,
But I am happy with what I've got,
Quite honestly you're not a trend setter,
I know what you're thinking,
Now she has slipped into a drunken stupor,
You can stop flirting, you little tinker,
I really don't think you're that super.
Right better get a taxi to get her home,
She's definitely had enough, as you can see,
You can tell, her mouth is beginning to foam,
I,m going home so you stop looking at me,
I know what you're thinking,
She don't look good when drunk,
She's farting now and it is really stinking,
So I'm going to get home and put her in her bunk.
Tomorrow she won't remember,
She may feel unwell, and tired,
But she will be herself loving and tender,
So if you carry on I will get you fired.
(*fags is a slang word for cigarettes.)
(*Sauce is a slang word for alcohol. )
09/02/2017
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