Before Saying I Love You
This is not some rhyming poem
If that's what you wanted, my apologies
This is me, the whole me, and what lies within
You have absolutely no idea
Just how hard it is
To put to words what lives in my heart, my thoughts, and my dreams
I don't know how to explain it
The smile that fills my heart, when I think of you
The childish nervousness I feel when you're around
How I want to hold you
To live each experience with you
To walk beside you
To kiss you goodnight
To see you at your worst
Yet still see your flawless beauty
I love you falls short
The words are there but they can, in no way
Express how I feel for you
The what ifs, the why's, are hard to cope with
The way my mind wanders to you
When I wake
Before I sleep
Throughout the day
No matter where I am or life takes me
I want to experience us
I want to hold your hand in your darkest hour
And be the light that brings you through to the other side
I want to protect you forever and keep you safe
I want all your tomorrows to start with me
I want more
I need more
Yet I know I can't have it
I struggle not hearing your voice
None of this is right, I know, but I can't help it
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Maybe you need to know
I don't know, I'm confused
I hope I didn't do wrong
Or upset you, by telling you this
Each day that passes is less time on this earth
For us too share as one
That bothers me
Where am I left
I only have myself to answer to and blame
It hurts
I feel such angst wondering if you truly know
I cannot risk another day to go by without you knowing
I worry that maybe I won't live up to what you think of me
But most of all, I worry about a life without you
You remain just beyond my grasp, my touch
My lips long for you
My soul weeps
I worry that maybe im the only one that feels this affliction
The longer I go without you, the more I want you
How do I preface I love you with I'm sorry
But I am
You have absolutely no idea why
I'm sorry you cannot feel what I do
And no matter how hard I try to show you
I fall short
So when I say I love you, I'm also sorry
Because no matter how I say it, or show it
You will never truly understand how much I mean it
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