Blinded By Darkness
I was blinded by darkness
Not knowing where I planted each footfall
I had a body I had a heart
I had a mind and most of all a soul
I thought I was alive with happiness and joy
Alive with peace in my soul
But I was wrong dead wrong
I was all but dead to the world
It was Death that captured and trapped me
In a grave not letting go of me
In the end not knowing it was little ol’ me
Trying to breathe trying to fight my way out
Thinking I was almost there to the top but not even moving
I thought I was justified by my negativity and actions
Not knowing it was trapping me further down
Displaying the ignorance of my ways without caring for the ones I loved
The pain of it that was caused went noticed
Everyone telling me but not realizing it until now
Letting the deceit and evil willingly roll off my tongue
Thinking I was always right on everything
Thinking that all I need was the trust of man
No matter how long I sat by the fire I was cold
Even when the sunlight was resting upon my skin
I was still ice cold as Death’s very own
I did not think that life would be this dead within
The darkness of the ice cold abyss of the grave yard
Picking and choosing what to do seems right but it wasn’t
Trying again and again until finally picking up the one thing
That I thought would not help me in the long run
Thinking that I had all the love in the world
Knowing that nothing can bring me down was one
Of the biggest lies I made myself believe for so long
Thinking I had fait and love in my life but I was wrong
And in the end all there is was nothing but darkness
Deceit and evil rolling off the tongues of you so called
People walking blindly through the shadows
Of the ever present grasp of Deaths darkest abyss
Of all the wickedness that has been committed in my life
Why now has the Mighty Father and Mother given me a second chance
Why have they forgiven me of my sins without a second thought
Have I really forgiven myself so the Father the Mother and the Divine
To enter my body my mind my heart and my soul
Has the Lord and the Lady really seen that I have been trying to
Change and to become an adult woman mentally so my
Husband can rely on me in the time of need like now
I thought I was ready to begin a life with kids
Until I realized that I am still one myself
How will the Lord and Lady tell me when I am ready to have
The family I want with my husband who is my soulmate
All I can do is wait ever so patiently for the moment
The Lord and Lady will tell me when I am ready
Inside that dark grave a white light came to me
With a hand to pull me out of my hole I dug and saved me
From my own condemned version of hell after praying
They deliver me from my sins and the trespasses I’ve done
What are people going to do when they see me
Completely changed after the long visit to LCJ
God and Goddess thank you for saving my when I thought
There was no way for me to be saved and unworthy of it
Again thank you for everything I currently have
In my life my wonderful loving husband that only
Sees the potential in me all the time and the love he
Gives so unconditionally to me even when I
Do wrong in his eyes or the law’s eyes please
Show him the same lovingkindness and forgiveness you
Have so heavily laid on me to realize and forgive
Myself and those around me like I should
Have so long ago when you tried to show me the light
I have forgiven myself of the anger and hate I had
For my adopted family and now it is in the past I cannot
Change that but however I can change how the future
Goes by what I say and plan to do now today
I can look back not so long ago the darkness that
Covered my eyes then and hope the light keeps the veil away
I can see all the negative emotions that were running
And controlling me I had no idea what to do
Now I am grateful for the things I have for
The things I have come to realize on top of everything
I am the most thankful to you in my life
When I thought I did not deserve the love
And the care you have shown me
Love is for an eternity, not just a second, minute, hour or even a day.
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