Candid Lines To a Septuagenarian's Lonely, Lovely Lass
Food, ale, smoke, sleep, and solitude—
these are the things which I live for;
provide for me lamb barbecued,
and I'll demand of you no more!
O lovely lass, whatsoever's the matter—
why so downtrodden and alone?
Be not vexed, if you feel so much fatter
than most, dear, for we love our own.
Sweet lass, let me tell you a secret:
if I were a young lad again,
I'd chase you for your gorgeous assets;
but as I am three-score and ten
years old with wife not dead, then never
could I be your white knight with steed.
So have hope, lass! For time, however,
in its fullness will meet your need.
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