Chasing Dreams Is All I Have Left
He had high expectations. I was supposed to be one of his kept women. One of the many he had forced in his underground prostitution.
He realized the mistake he made
When he made an unsuccessful attempt.
At trying to force me to lick his lollypop. He didn’t know that I’m not that person.
The weeks turned into months and he saw that nothing was coming out of it except the things that were written down.
His try colors started showing. I’m now ‘dead weight’. ‘Useless’. Now, he kindly asked me to ‘get the hell out.’
Another broken promise. What did I expect? The world is fill of promisers with words coming off their tongues like the wind.
And don’t get me started on my family, who seemed to love me when the money was rolling in.
“China is nice.” They said.
I’m sending money to them. I could pay my rent, my light bill, my telephone that they kept hacking into. I could treat myself to nice dinners at fancy restaurants. Something I could never seemed to do in the West.
“She travels the world, she has money.” They said. “Give me something, mon.”
“I don’t have anything to give, now.”
The shame, disgrace and disappointment plain on their faces was worse than been thrown out in the cold with nothing but the two suitcases.
“Why did you return? You should have stayed.” They said.
In the West when you’re alone and have no one to help you and the ones that you used to rely on have hardened due to the changing times, it made you realized how poverty stricken you really are.
“But what is wrong with you? They asked.
“ You should have been married already. Look at you, as beautiful as you are, how are you still single? They asked
“Is something wrong with you?” They asked
“Nothing is wrong with me. I just don’t want to end up like my mother.”
I should be so lucky.
She was poor and poverty stricken, but she had a roof over her head.
I don’t want to end up like my mother.
I. Should. Be. So. Lucky.
"Educated and experienced, chasing dreams. Where does that get?" They asked.
No. I don’t have a sponsor. However, I’m asking you for a little more time to finish this book.
Regardless of the situation, I only have to put up with the promiser who has the tongue like wind.
Only on the weekends.
But you, whose knocking at the back of my mind kept crushing my concentration.
Stop!
I promise, when I’m done, I’ll be gone.
Because chasing dreams is all that I have left.
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