Love Poem: Check

Check

~ Check ~

I confess my discontent 
I was stifled
In restraints by suggestions and pretty things
The ones bought in the streets for a stroke of ego
The ones bought by the vulnerable and naive

I bought the bootleg covers of dreams
They left me empty and listless 
With an ache in my chest
It reaches, cracking sternum 
Calling out like an unmet fix
Crying out like an addiction

The empty digs down deep
Leaving pinhole scars that only I know exist
That only I know I keep
My sweet little drug 
Saturating my blood stream 
These chemicals will not rest
They flow and form malformed notions 
That I need you
Still

That is my illness
Knowing how you will continue to slowly bury me
Even if unknowingly, even if unintentional 
Because no one intentionally becomes addicted, do they?
Then I think, only an addict would keep coming back for the come down

So here I am, hooked
Chasing beasts and legends 
Surviving on fantasies of fairy tales that lay captive in my mind
That play chess with my unrest and I am forever... 
In check


Andreanna Escamilla
07/06/2020