Crazy In Love
Another day, another beginning,
I begin the morning chanting,
Hoping that repeating my wish,
It would come true.
I sit at the sun-bathed breakfast table,
Remembering the times you sat across with a grumble.
The other times when you would put yours arms around me,
As I set the morning spread.
I walk into our memories-filled bedroom,
I remember as I put on your favourite perfume,
The first time you carried me across the threshold,
We were so in love, the newly-wed couple.
But I also remember the shadowed memories,
When you would hit me disregarding my pleas.
The times you would turn away in bed,
Refusing to speak to me, pretending to be a statue.
I dress in your favourite colours,
And take in a bit of one of your liqueurs.
Hoping it will give me the strength I need,
To face you, my husband, my weakness, the love of my life.
I walk out, closing the door behind me,
Wondering in what mood will you be,
I think of the times you'd say you're sorry,
The times you'd say you love me.
Times when you'd reach out and touch my cheek,
You'd say you miss me, that you're growing weak.
You want to come back home,
You'd say you're ready that you're okay.
I feel my eyes tear up as I think of the worse,
Times when you'd scream yourself hoarse,
When you'd pull my hair and tell me to get out,
Ending up in me running out crying.
Yet I come back every day,
For the better days I pray.
Sometimes we would sit staring into each others eyes,
Other times you would act like you don't know me.
But I cant help coming back to you,
Returning to the pain no matter what you do.
Sometimes I'm sure this is true love,
Other times i hate you for what you've done to me.
On some bad days I swear I'm never coming back,
The days when you hit me blue and black.
On good days I swear I'll never leave you,
The days you whisper sweet things and hold me tight.
Nevertheless i come every day,
Hoping everything will soon be okay.
The nurses stare in wonder, they don't understand,
This mad love in the psychiatric ward.
- Miliya Parveen
|