Delving Deeper
The comment hurt and I withdrew
My response was brief as I promptly ended our conversation
Thoughts flooded through my mind
"He doesn't need me" "He has her now"
A truth that I sometimes still find difficult to accept
We shared a special, one-of-a-kind connection
A mutual, multi-level intimacy that we both cherished and carefully tended
A bond that neither of us had ever had with anyone else...
Everyday, I am reminded of what I need to do to avoid getting hurt
Honour the boundaries I've put in place
Establish and reestablish those lines
Yes, I have made progress...
And yet, here I am
Dodging strikes and curveballs that life loves to throw
Feeling side-swiped and unsettled by another round of letting go
Knowing that engaging only makes me want to delve in deeper
The way I'm used to
The way WE used to
And that's where my big heart gets me into big trouble
You'd think I would know by now
Because it lures and leads me to the place I've worked so hard to stay away from
The place that always ends up leading me...here
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