Evolution Blues
She was one good looking chick
Straight out of Vogue, or a Spiderman flick
Her back was straight, she had that glow
Blonde hair, green eyes, healthy head to toe
And she had a fixation, that fixation was me
My heart jumped, I wanted to agree
But then I realized the attraction was an illusion
An evolution induced mental confusion
To exist our genes need reproduction
So they evolved romance, not to mention seduction.
I looked at her and thought "she may look great.
but she's descended from a monkey, a large-brained primate
And though what I feel may be infatuation
Internally, it's just a mental computation.
"Take away the hair, color the eyes brown
Remove your species privilege, you'll feel like a clown
Internal opiates, and a hormonal stew,
Without internal messengers, what is she to you?
So said to her "Babe, go back to your former beau"
Wasn't he Jimmy the knife, and wasn't his life low?
I just can't date you, after thinking out loud
I've lost the mystery, it's all a pall and a shroud
No romantic haze, no mystical link
The magic left your gaze, I'm just left to overthink.
She replied, "My Dad's is Vinny "the vacuum" Vortellini:
You say no to me, he'll make you into Linguini
You're my choice, and you must understand
Your opinion doesn't matter, you're mired in quicksand.
I looked at her again, I saw the psychopath beneath
But oh, that blonde hair, those eyes, and those perfect teeth!
I'm just a primate too, I realized inside.
So I jumped out the window and committed suicide.
So all you men, you need to comprehend
A lovely woman can bring an untimely end
It's all a trick perpetuated by DNA
You must transcend nature's imperative and disobey!
We are a tragic species caught between biology and mind
Don't let nature interfere, don't let instincts bind.
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