Expecting You
middle of the night
high on cocaine
cigarette smoking in the ashtray beside me
upset
frustrated
my heart aches
it hurts
it beats irregularly
i can feel the burn in my chest from the stress and anxiety and confusion and pain
she said she was coming home at 2am
it is now 4:30am and she’s at a party
I felt it in my chest before she told me
i knew it
i sensed it
i sensed something was in the works and I guess she felt it needed to be hidden behind the curtain
she could have told me anytime that her plans were changing
i lay my head down at 3:00am expecting her to walk through the door
...nothing
I wait in bed, thinking random thoughts
not being able to relax due to the fact that I am expecting her
she keeps me waiting
my mind continues to race
i feel disrespected when someone states they are doing something
then they do the opposite
why did you say this to me?
why did you keep wondering?
I care so much for you that the pain felt dealt by your actions cuts deeper than beautiful truth
you are beautiful
i know this is true
i just can’t understand why we have this obstacle of trusting one another
our relationship has been broken
the cast we used healed the fracture
but the pain still exists
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