First Dog Narrative
Please disregard that I'm a dog.
I've been asked to write this monologue
by my owner. What was he thinking?
Maybe he has been out drinking.
I always try to be there for him,
though I can't use a typewriter, Jim.
Sometimes, I wish he'd feel the same way
when I want to walk or play.
To his girlfriend, he says something dumb,
and I'm right there to console the bum,
and when he screws up bad, at work,
I make him forget his troubles - the jerk.
A shrink would charge a hundred bucks.
I help him for a dog biscuit, shucks.
It's not in my nature to refuse
this poor guy who's so confused.
I know the reason life is for -
a good game of fetch or tug-of-war,
and, I admit, when it comes to those,
he's fun to play with, I suppose.
He gives me a sense of purpose.
Heck, I love him, glad to be of service.
In conclusion, I think you'll agree
that I exemplify loyalty.
That, friend, is my little poem,
about me and master...let's not show 'im.
For a dog, a poem is pretty tough.
Next time, I'll just say, "ruff ruff ruff ruff".
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