For a Fatherless Son
All the way to the hospital
I felt your eagerness for life,
Your Impatience
between contractions
For the show to go on,
Months in the preparation
This was your debut,
A final push
The curtains opened,
And there in the spot light
A star was born,
Encore,
I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!
I boasted to a fervent audience
Took praise for the choreography
(Though the moves were yours alone.)
You did not notice
in the theater
The one empty seat
That I could not fill,
The void that would grow
As your needs grew,
Ignorant of the absence
you saw Past that darkness
to my beaming face.
learning your new steps
my praise was enough
but I would repeat it
to fill the space,
Now my leading man
the space is harder to hide,
that utter lack of attention,
That first Christmas play
And that damned empty seat
not reserved
but rejected !
you played the part of yourself
my wise man
You did not seem to mind.
And every mile stone you pass
You look to me,
Your first words
Your first grazed knee
Your second performance
In the theater,
(just a small routine)
but there besides me
that damned lack
looming
like dark shadow over a full moon,
he should have been there then
to see your comeback,
your perfect production
As I held you with the strength
of two.
Inquisitive now
You question me
About the missing piece
in your jigsaw
puzzled by the great blank
the incompleteness of the picture,
If I could put it together
for you,
if I had the answers,
If I could tell you why,
I am all I can offer
And I am sorry for that,
I am sorry for these two hands
That should be four
I am sorry I can not tell you more,
I am sorry for the empty seat
That grows more obvious
That I can't remove or replace,
But I promise you this
There will be
Only one vacant space,
I will love you, utterly,
Unconditionally,
Wholeheartedly,
I will love you
And at every performance
All the roles
You chose to play in life
I will be there
Proud, applauding twice.
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