For Cameron
i know these
sleepless nights
would be
easier
if i could only
wrap myself around you.
if i could burrow
into that precious cavity
underneath your ribs
that bleeds only for me
i know that my
frenetic mind
could settle,
if only for a few
hours.
if i could roll over
and pull your arms
tight around my middle
and feel the indomitable
weight of you
at my back
i know that these
butterflies --
acrobats, anarchic artists,
apathetic mutineers causing
ruckus simply because
they can --
will settle into
warm fields of
soft pink wildflowers
and fresh mountain breezes
that pull me into
a sleep
so familiar and deep
that i am suddenly
home.
if i could entwine
our legs beneath
shared sheets
and blankets fortified
in every stitch
with the encouragement
and support
our love
is built upon
i know that
my soul
would be grounded
and my feet would
no longer ache
from the relentless urge
to run away
and live in broken solitude.
if i could lay my head down
on this pillow
right next to yours
and hear the bespoke lullaby
God plays
in your breathing
i know that my lungs
and heart
and eyes
would fill close to
spilling over
with air
and joy
and tears
and replace
the expanse of
emptiness that threatens
to take over me
daily.
and if i could
wake
in the morning
with you at my side
and your hands
warm on my waist
i know that
the day
would not feel as
wildly daunting
because anything
that halts my mind
and makes my
breathing shift into something
unbearably heavy
can be faced with images
of you
sleepy in my arms
with your eyes half lidded
and your mouth
tugged up in an idle grin
because you got to
wake up next to
me.
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