For Love 11
i step from the shower
i think of u
i wrap my wet hair in a towel
i wonder about u
i sit in my favorite chair in the middle of the night
everything looks as if its in slow motion
and my heartbeat is tripled and thudding
the echo of missing u
i smoke a cigarette and look at the inactive computer screen
i make my bed, i feed the cats and i dust the bedside table
i pick up a book, but i only manage three pages
my mind is wrapped aroung the idea of u
and its worse, i think
because i know u are out there in the world
wherever ur city sits
and u live and breathe there, while i am suffocating here
i slowly put on my makeup
hoping a few more minutes might give u the time to say "hello, i miss you too"
i need to work, and i need to fake that im okay
i take a final breath and hope my eyes wont betray me tonight
even while im taking off everything for them
im only hoping for a little something from you
even as i give them the sight of my body
i wish for u to have the feel of my heart in your hands
i struggle through the hours
minutes are quicksand that im stepping in
and every silent moment
is a knife in my chest, my throat, my gut
i haltingly lay my head onto a pillow as the sun comes up
and i dont want to close my eyes
because there u will be, waiting, and i will remember
every smile and laugh and word
i fall into restless sleep
theres nothing to calm my heart in these times
u are too far away
u are the only remedy
i dream
i think of u
i wake
i think of u
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