Forgiving You
At first I called you Mama, then Mummy and then Mum
I lay awake at night
Wondering how long you will be gone
I stayed inside myself, a lot of the time
I longed for your love
I just wanted to call you mine
There was another love you had, that meant more then me
I couldn't understand at all
How could you let this be
As I got older, you stayed away more and more
I shy away from people
Mummy it's you I adore
When you did stop by to see me, you were always in a hurry
For whatever I did wrong to you
Mummy I'm so sorry
I grow quieter and quieter, with each and every day
For all I feel is shame inside
Who would like me anyway
Then one day you came to me, you looked so very sad
You said you had to go away
What is it, did I make you mad
You said away for business, is where you had to go
My little heart broke again
A pain so well I know
Then Nana told me, you were close by
And that you wanted to see me
Why did you have to lie
We got into the car and drove, your lying had me low
You grabbed me and squeezed so tight
And said you love me so
At first I held back, as I wasn't sure
Another abandonment from you
My heart could take no more
When I looked into your eyes and you said my name
I could tell by your sadness
Your heart was also full of shame
You held my hand gently, and spoke to me with grace
About how deeply sorry you are
And then you held my face
You told me your distraction, had been alcohol and more
That is was all an evil love
It was me you adored
I sat there and listened, trying to understand
How could an evil liquid
Be the one that had your hand
I want to love you Mummy, trust from the bottom of my heart
But it will take a lot of work
We'll have to go back to the start
I'm going to pray every night, when I am in bed
That you won't leave me again
And meant what you said
That we spend time together, that's whole and genuine
For Mummy the only truth in life
I am your only son
I am but a little boy, who needs his Mummy near
So I can believe in you again
And chase away my fear
Let me know you see me, for what I really am
I am your blood a part of you
Show you give a damn
So I can rest my little head, and contently sleep
My broken heart mending
I finally won't have to weep
I look to our future, you and I so strong
And slowly it will fade away
All the things that you did wrong
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