Hating Loving You
Kick me away
Screw me into the dirt
make me hate you the way you seem to hate me
you make it hard to love you, sadly still what i'm trying to do
but i would rather hate you
it would be much easier to hate you
so. much. easier
stop this!
stop doing this to me
I can’t think, I can’t breath,
without you next to me
without the thought of you.
here.
with me.
I loved you
Something i could not see
before you left me
too late
but what difference would it have made?
How wasn’t I enough
How did I not make you happy?
was I too selfish, too sad, too consumed in loving you,
in trying to love you
that I forgot to be real?
I wanted to be real
I tried to be real
looking for myself, as I searched your soul, I was so sure I had found her
who i wished i could be
I wasn’t perfect
and neither were you
but in that imperfection was peace, was love
in the way you smiled at me
laughed with me
cried with me
talked with me about how your world was , you were falling apart, you were scared
you just needed to be loved
and i knew it was everything you deserved
after everything, still maintaining who you were, miraculously
who you still are
even though i’m not there with you to see that person anymore
to know that person anymore
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