Hell and Back
Hell and back again
Lyrics sung with a sullen note
With lingering anxiety building in my throat
I feel that I cannot speak and must go
Unable to keep pushing this down
My Sunday laughter now a nervous frown
When I thought this was dead and buried somehow
One Sunday started with stolen looks and flirtation
Love at first sight, notes passed on bar tops with anticipation
Soon turned to fiery, unwavering passion
We left the car running, in Love we were crashing
One night our eyes, lips and bodies met
Our hands and souls searching for something neither had quite found yet
And a true felt romance then lingered
Never to forget, best friends in a way
But one with a debt that had yet to be paid
Differences in adult wants led him astray
Never wanting to disappoint or leave
But unable to have or raise a family
My heart shattered as the bullet did his skull
And I failed to tell him on our last phone call
But I never did stop Loving Him at all
Nothing done could erase what we shared
Although I had to move on
For the flashbacks turned to nightmares
And my heart and head could no longer cope
With losing not only a Love but all Hope
In myself or kind soul to pick up the pieces left
Was it all a dream?
I wish I truly could answer "yes"
But it's burned in my heart and my mind all the same
And now comes back from time to time reminding me of the pain
Leaving no words for me to use to explain
How I once went to Hell at 25
And came back again
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