Her
Sometimes I wonder what he sees when he looks at me and sometimes I wonder why it’s me he chooses when he could have her. She is no one in particular but someone I feel he deserves. She is beautiful and strong and doesn’t rely on him to be happy. She can stand on her own and rarely be wary. She holds her head up high and produces jealousy out of longing. She knows he has eyes only for her, but not only does she know she feels confident. Sometimes she cries, but not for the reasons I do. She cries with reasons, not inadequacies. When he pulls her in for long hugs or even quick little kisses, she knows it will not be the last time. She bubbles inside knowing they will stand the test of time. When they look at me, they feel pity. They take pride and happiness in knowing together they will make it through. They look at me and see the weaknesses I struggle to hide deep within. They look at me and feel nothing of what I have been through. She struggles to make her parents smile because she never wants to let them down. Yet at the same time she knows they will love her regardless. When he picks up his phone, she never worries about who is on the other end. He tells her there could never be another and she feels the same. He holds her hand at the perfect time. He notices when her smile falters just a little, and knows exactly how to make it sparkle again. She feels no pressure to be someone she doesn’t think she is. She feels only the pressure from within to push her own limits to get further in life. Sometimes when he looks at her, she wonders what more he could see. She tries to imagine how much life would change without him, but she feels as though she’ll never have to endure that. When he looks at her, she shows him another reason for him to love her. One day, when he looks at me, I hope he sees her.
4.4.2010
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