Here With You
June 27, 2015
I wish I knew what I should never know
As I fantasize impossible dream come trues
Setting myself up for disappointment
And still hoping for the sake of temporary enjoyment
Here with you—shuddering sorrow creeps…
Here with you, suddenly I miss you more than I can bear
How you effortlessly take me high, then drop me
I miss the excitement of “I-can-lose-it-all” . . .
Walking on coals with the flames long put out
My feet cagily walking upon the black dust of your placid presence
The premonition of thought without you
The tortuous dissatisfaction as I picture “what-could-be”
I hate it. . . .but . . .I don’t. Want. You. Here. . . .
Though once you are gone, I will hate myself again
That is what I fear
Some things never change at all . . .
While I am here. . .here with you,
Try to imagine my side
Try to picture for a moment “what could be”
And how much I just want you close to me. . .
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