Hesitant Heartbeats
Would it be too much
If I told you
I missed you?
What if I said it
While
Lying in your shirt?
Would your heart
Be fluttering
The same way mine has been?
Like it has since
The moment I knew
I was going to get attached
Where happiness
Was my soft sighs
Falling deeper into your arms
And rhythmically
Swaying
My foot
As I had
your heart beat
In my ear
And my leg
Resting
Across your stomach
Like a boat
Dancing on the waves
Of your breathing
And I didn’t want to
Stop feeling the motion
Of those waves
I wanted to be selfish
Quietly whispering
To the sun
To go back
To sleep
For a few hours
So I could omit
Responsibilities
And keep your arms around me
While daydreaming
About where
This will go
A summer montage
Blending into
Our birthdays
From playful arguments
Teaching me to drive stick
In your car
Getting drunk
And showing
All sides of our soul to each other
Like admitting
I’ve had conversations
With your parents in heaven
Showing them my scars
My past mistakes with love
But how willing I am
To risk everything
To keep
Your heart safe
How I would turn
your demons
Into distant friends
Showing how your insecurities
Hold no weight
In my eyes
Watching you
Do fun yet foolish things
With your friends
To forget
The world
Exists for a moment
Reading all the poetry
I wrote about you
While we lay on my couch
With your head in my lap
Running my fingers
Through your hair
And as the months pass by
I steal your hoodies
To keep warm
While you smoke
A cigarette outside
When you first wake up
And your ashes fall
Onto the faces of
Autumn leaves
They all appear
On your ceiling like a movie
As you snore lightly next to me
I smile nervously to myself
At the thought
Of sharing it with you
Would you feel the same way?
Or am I in over my head?
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