Love Poem: If I Was a Fool
Keenan Mackay Avatar
Written by: Keenan Mackay

If I Was a Fool

If I was a fool 
I'd love as many times as I wanted

If I was a millionaire 
I'd beg to be a poor man wishing for more
because I believe my dreams should stay in my sleep
I'd rather be a struggling actor so far off Broadway 
I'm staring Hollywood in the face
than replace Brad Pitt
or have my name in lights
because I believe the second I come up short
on the possession of problems
achieve my truest dreams
is the second before I become no more

So please don't clap for me
instead let silence ease itself in
like a teenager out a little too late
a cat slipping between a crack in a door
placing doubt for me to see in the mirror tomorrow morning
so I can work to overcome it

If I was a fool
I'd call this love

If I purchased a four pack of Red bull
with the intent of staying up all night
I would watch the sunrise just to know
you're waking up soon somewhere
and sometime before noon
there's a chance
I might get to see your cheeks rise
into a smile 
that will guile it's way into my mind
and rob me blind
normal thought processes shop-lifted
from my skull
and all I can say is
How kind of you

If I was a thief 
I'd steal time over anything
pick the pocket of the pocket watch 
that belongs to the grandfather clock
locked away in the back of our hearts

If I was a stalker
I'd shape words into a shadow
because the physical only gets me to your window
but a fake silhouette would get me under your skin
words would splinter cell their way in through your ears
and I could be closer than ever to you

creepy
I know

If I was a fool
I'd take this too far

If I don't spend every second
doing something
if I wasted a second
doing nothing
then I might as well
cease breath
resign from earth
because a second of life
is equal
to an eternity without

If I wasn't a poet
I'd know better
than to call this
what she said once to me
the result of a decision 
made on a near subconscious level 
based off evil suggestions 
bred from my darkest thoughts 
my tallest despairs 
and a slip up of not caring for five minutes 
that turned my life diagonally into an alley 
on the wrong side of town 
hoping to not find myself in a gutter 
but instead to hit a strike 
in this baseball game kind of the same 
as Sunday school 

redundant to everything beyond it

but it's what my life is now
and I can't avoid it

If I wasn't a fool
I wouldn't feel this way about anyone ever again
but I do