Impossible Love
"You are an obsession. I cannot sleep. I am your possession unopened at your feet" - Animotion, circa 1985
I can barely eat or sleep. It's a dissociation from my "normal."
My dreams are dreamed awake, and sensual are they,
for in them, I am a lioness devouring the love I crave.
When I see him day to day,
he teases me with long smoldering gazes.
Mercilessly he stares me down; he wears me down!
Sensing my feelings are the same as his,
how he taunts me with those dark lustful penetrating eyes.
Though I desire him with all my heart,
my constitution is not frail. I resist his advances.
I get up, go to work, and come back home,
but the home to which I return
is not the abode where I yearn to be.
His home cannot be my home, for he belongs to someone else,
and this I have learned too late. Already I am under his spell.
I find myself driving sometimes past the place he lives.
It can accomplish nothing for me. On my car radio,
the song "Obsession" keeps playing.
When I am home, the echo of that song stays in my head.
A prisoner to impossible love, when I am alone,
I release my angst through poetry.
At my workplace each day, he spots me.
I engage in short fascinating conversations with him.
Again and again, he asks me to meet him on the sly.
He is relentless and so hard to resist, but
we both have our own respective partners, so
his offer is not an option for me. I can only hope for nothing more
than to talk with him briefly and to keep seeing his gorgeous face
until the day - at last - he goes away.
July 4, 2019
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