James
Around the corner
Of the unpaved driveway
Was a claustrophobic shack
The front door
Was once a cherry red
Like his father's 1968 Cadillac
My car door
echoed
As my heels stumbled across the driveway
Caught my balance on the porch swing
Which is now cluttered
From the insides of an ashtray
I sat
On his front porch
Staring into the woods
The July air
Brought back all the memories
Like I never knew it could
We used to sit out here
When his dad fell asleep
Talking about getting married
Sharing thoughts
About how many kids we want
To where we wanted to be buried
I twirl his promise ring
Around my finger
As I hesitate at the front door
It was unlocked
But what was hiding behind it
Was nothing I have seen before
Everything was dirty
From the carpets
To the bare mattress in the living room
Which was a boat
To the ocean of bottles and cigarettes
He would habitually consume
I avoid
stepping on food wrappers
As I look at family photos
My favorite one
Was us with his nephew
Right before he proposed
I remember his sister
Thanking me
For making him a better person
And how
Without me
His addiction would have worsened
I glide my fingers
Along the wall
As I go into his bedroom
There was a box
With my name on it
It held pictures and my old perfume
Wrapped in a ribbon
Were all my letters
Secured in their envelopes
I wrote once a week
Telling him about school
And how I tried to cope
9 months he was gone
But every night
I sat on my bed waiting for his call
And I would whisper
On the phone
Until I saw the light go off in the hall
My parents thought
He was holding me back
From my future plans
But the red farmhouse
3 kids and the Cherokee
Was never something they'd understand
That all changed
When fall came
My junior year
He loved me
But his old friends
started to reappear
Mocked the changes in his life
Spit on his progress
Until it drowned his mind
I left town
Studied law
For I became
Nothing he wanted to find
He apparently had a girl
Move in
Who was 2 years younger
Had a little girl with her
But he said
He couldn't ignore the hunger
Money
Fueled his whole being
Until his hands
Were placed behind his back
The police searched his place
Tore everything apart
And eventually towed his father's Cadillac
7 years have passed
But I finally made it
Back to his part of town
Knowing all the whispers
I had to see his house again
And have one last look around
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