Just Thought
we converse carefully
each afraid to say what we both know
and feel
however
I cannot forget the abandonment,
the disrespect,
my words that you shared with her
but I forgive you for choosing security
over excitement
I never asked you to choose
but I lose
a million times over
or was I ever a player
in the game
your game
that you play with each other
control, sex, and alcohol
a wild card was I
that she was not ready for
labeled as collateral,
I still have images
of you making love to her
while I curl up
and hold myself
starving for the warm
touch of a man
a real man
or are you?
afraid of her palm
against your cheek
stinging with resentment
or is that foreplay
and I your flick
what happened to the beauty
of us
the energy, the passion
waiting to be unleashed
its gone
exhausted by time and
circumstance
I want to find it again
but
was it ever there
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