Letter To Mama
Dear Mama
I'm older now and so much has changed
I miss you don't get me wrong
but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place
and I can't even tell you to your face
so I'm writing because my cowardliness has forbidden me to speak
like my lips have been locked shut and somehow
I lost the key
and my mind is overflowing so please don't hate me
I'm trying to balance my reality and form a friendship
without hurting your feelings
and I know I sound insane
I get it, you don't think it's that deep
but you don't see what I see
we haven't imagined the same future for me
you're so stuck on what you think is for me
that you're to blinded to witness
that I'm suffering Mama
I'm suffering
Dear Mama
thanks for keeping in touch
thanks for all the over-text lessons
but I'm good
I don't need a schooling session
I have teachers
I have counselors
I have coaches
For God sake I have a mom
who puts me in the right direction
you missed your chance years ago
So you need to hear this
let me go
I'm only hanging on by a thread
yet you still dangle from my leg
WHY? because when it snaps
we're both dead
Can't you see that I'm not just gonna hop up and leave when I turn 18
classified as a runaway
and for what?
so you can just go back to you old ways
Can't you see that you've broken me
caused my head to spin uncontrollably
I want to please you but I want to be happy
Can't you see that I'm suffering mama
I'm suffering
Dear Mama
I realized that I really don't know you
we had visits and sleepovers
I was a kid, you were all I knew
But I'm older now and so much has changed
I don't see things the same way
I've found somewhere else where I feel safe
I hope you will understand one day
I want you to be in my life
when I graduate
have kids
and heck when I'm a bride
and yes I'll still take your advice
but Don't turn advice into teachings
I hope now you can see my reality
and your heart isn't broken into a million pieces
just know I'm always here to be your friend
and if you never want to talk again I understand
but you see that would just add on to why I'm suffering mama
I'm suffering
Dear Mama
It's time
to say goodbye to that title
Dear Renisha
I love you always
-Angel
Note* (I have two moms)
I call my biological mother "Mama" and my adoptive mother "Mom"
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