Love Poem: Mad About Carelessness
Gerald Dillenbeck Avatar
Written by: Gerald Dillenbeck

Mad About Carelessness

Why do I feel like school visits
are usually a waste of time,
and restorative health assessment visits,
too,
or is it professional visiting in general
that bothers me?

What I will see
and smell
and hear
and touch
is only what you feel safe to show me.

Your best professional face
when you are in charge of your environment,
of yourself,
and all is as it would best be
in your safe and healthy 
mind and body presence.

Yet what I need to see
is how this place,
these people,
this teacher or therapist or mentor,
or would-be bodhisattva,
responds to my challenged child's anger and fear

To my own anger about how we have
and have not 
been treated in our past

Challenged by your own angers 
about your past
fears about life's future
for yourself
for your kids,
for sacred Earth's othering caregivers.

How will you respond
the 99th time my daughter poops on herself
then laughs while you wipe her nasty stinky ass,
berated by her own memories
of past such humiliations?

S/he hopes you too might find humor
in our co-arising 
trauma bent
therapeutic intent

S/he needs even more resilient compassion
in your Positive Political Psychology presence
in this moment of your empathy
with her bipolar lack of sympathy
for your win/win preferred
neuro-biology.

Just how good might it feel
to give a smack on the ass
of all angry fear-filled,
chronically stressed
and sleep deprived,
too-often critical-event PTSD
co-victims of inhumane life's unkind
ego- and anthro-supremacist 
politically empowering/disempowering
history?

How do you think that unprofessional 
retributive aggression choice
would not hurt both of you?
all of us?
where and when
we could choose to live fully
in this win/win vulnerable
transparent moment of unboundaried
curiosity

Of co-empathic 
trauma-informed awareness
steeped in ancient
synergetic 
diverse neurosystemic practice

Of fully interdependent 
win/win co-passionate intent
when and where most needed
and neglected
and abused.

Abuse of your non-professional
and deeply personal
love
and competent therapeutic promise,
most accessible markers 
of past angers about life's depressing
negatively impressing
repressing,
suppressing fears 
of too soon terrorizing
mind and body peaceful 
professionally elite
resonance.

Visiting schools, 
and other public campaigns,
to experience 
our best therapeutic
restorative justice practices
has little to reveal 
about where we most vulnerably
transparently
curiously
mind passionately
body pleasantly live

Personally
and professionally formed,
neurosystemically shaped

Co-empathically encultured
by PastMind Angers/Passions 
and FutureBody Fears/Pleasures,
24/7

Including when and where 
I feel like school visits,
and other LeftBrain dominant campaigns,
are usually a waste 
of trauma-informed
compassion pleasing 
healthy neurosystemic
peak experience 
potential win/win optimization time.