Main Motive
In a cynical world,
I cannot imagine a life ever after.
Not here, not now.
Not while we’re being watched by
Generously, judging eyes.
Their gaping brings me to reside in
Mind drilling, open regret.
Take off this weight as it
Clouds my mind and forces
My hands to tremble.
The chilling strum of some distant guitar
Pulls at the aching in my chest,
Fanning this flame of angst.
Now sitting wordlessly in icy water,
I do not sense the tears that
Swell and drop in tumbles
Making swirls of mixed heat.
I think of what I wish for and
Why I’d never get it,
Like a three year old pondering
The undeniable unfairness of life.
A question fumbles idiotically with
A chemical in my brain.
If I am not left this time,
Who am I to leave with?
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