Memories of a Child
The family
am supposed to be a member of,
the house
am supposed to be a part of,
filled my days
with sorrow and pain..
On Christmas,
I sneak out for a while
Watching other kids
Opening their gifts
With a smile drawn
on their face
and they’re parents
giving them a kiss,
then watching me
looking at them
with painful tears
filling my eyes..
I wanted to tell her
how much I miss her,
I wanted to tell him
How much I respect him
I wanted to tell them
How much I love them
But they won’t listen to me
They would hit me instead
And me from deep inside
I cry:
“please stop hitting me please,
Please have mercy
on my innocent soul please”
am a child
that cant bare anymore.
Pain
Is what I always feel,
Swears
Is what I always hear..
I escaped
but then came back
knowing that nobody
would accept
a child like me,
a child with torn clothes
and dirty hair.
I escaped
But then came back
Knowing that
I have to accept my fate..
Am barely alive from outside
But totally dead from inside..
Asking god,
To reborn the me in me
Is what I always do
Although I know
he’s against me too..
hate
is what is see in their eyes..
they made me taste
the bitterness of life
although am still a child
they hate me very much
although am still a child
a weight of a mountain
is on my back
although am still a child..
I always ask god
To forgive my sins
Although I don’t have any,
I always ask god
To moderate my agony
Although I know he wont..
Day and night I wonder
If she would ever remember me
When I die,
Day and night I wonder
if she would ever remember
that she had a child
when I die..
before I left,
I wrote them a letter
that said:
“mommy and daddy
I love you,
Am sorry
if I had ever disappointed you,
am sorry,
if I was a naught boy,
Am sorry mom
for not finishing my courses on time
the last few days
but I was tired mom,
really tired,
I always wanted a kiss
from you,
I always wanted a hug
From you,
I always wanted to feel
Am your child.
I needed you with me,
I never knew
why you hated me..
and now mom and dad
I’ll leave, it’s time now,
God wants me to be with him,
Mommy and daddy,
I love you”
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