Monoku Monday - May 2021
"Well, I Never" posted 3 May 2021
Six musings on the word never...
you should never marry a tennis player love means nothing to them
my wife tells me I never listen at least that's what I think she says
never put off until tomorrow what you can ignore completely
why does the night fall but never break yet the day breaks but never falls?
i know I'd never make it as an M.D. I don't have the patients
never fart in an elevator it's wrong on so many levels
[humor attribution - all humor found online, source unknown]
"What Do You Do For A Living" posted 10 May 2021
plumbers aren't so bad if it weren't for them, you wouldn't know where to go
undertakers aren't so bad they'll always be the last to let you down
a sluggish engineer isn't lazy he's energy efficient
the Subway worker said they were out of sandwich meats no ham no fowl
politician: one who approaches each question with an open mouth
seen on the side of a plumber's van: "A flush always beats a full house"
[humor attribution - all humor found online, of unknown origin]
"This Wonderful Workplace, part 2" posted 17 May 2021
multitasking: me screwing up several tasks all at the same time
"it's been a long week" she said monday morning at 11:30
boss, i'm sorry i can't work today i've fractured my motivation
it's not your day when the boss tells you "don't bother taking off your coat"
pretending I'm a pleasant person all day is downright exhausting
my boss told me to go to a webinar i thought she said "winebar"
[humor attribution - all humor found online, of unknown origin]
"More Holy Humor" posted 24 May 2021
best comedian in Bible times was Samson he brought the house down
the first babysitter: David rocked Goliath into a deep sleep
atheism the original non-prophet organization
difference between a church bell and a pickpocket one peals from the steeple
every time I try to cook I offer the Lord a burnt offering
after God created for 24 hours he called it a day
[humor attribution - #3 from George Carlin, #5 from Edmo Snord; all other humor found online or remembered from childhood, sources unknown]
"Book Worms, pt II" posted 31 May 2021
i once read a book called "tsunami" would that count as a title wave?
i'm reading a new book in Braille it's going to be good, i can feel it
this book about connecting pieces of sheet metal it's riveting
my math textbook arrived in the mail at last but it's full of problems
that new book on herbs I ordered finally arrived it's about thyme
i purchased "how to scam dummies online" i still haven't received it
this book on curing dyslexia is the greatest thing since sliced beard
[humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown]
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