My Son I Still Sing To
My Dear Son,
It’s March
I can already hear you—
small feet like birds’ wings
fluttering through the air
skipping, hopping, laughing
chasing me chasing you
your laughter—
a chorus that fills the house
sharp and sweet as a bell
tugging at the edges of the room…..
Futures are fragile
held like a delicate orchid
between cupped hands—
I see you!!
your hair tangled with the wind.
arms like branches reaching for the sky.
legs slicing through the grass
running for the ball
learning the rhythm of joy in motion.
We’ll play music too…
piano keys—
tiny doors to a world waiting.
fingers dancing across them
like sunlight on water
pressing them into song.
and guitar strings
will sing beneath your touch
interpreting the language of the heart.
Sunday mornings
we’ll rise before dawn—
your hand so small, so warm in mine
the familiar scent of old pews and stale coffee
sinking into the fabric of us.
the patter of prayers
folding around us like a blanket—
a comfort that stretches through time.
In the classroom
you’ll grow—
from crayons to calculus
sharpening your mind with each lesson.
your friends gathered like stars in the night
their laughter a river
carrying you through the days.
Grade School to High School—
you’ll be a tree.
stretching skyward.
roots buried in lessons
limbs bent by storms of youth.
your voice breaking with the winds of change.
a menagerie of mistakes and triumphs.
your heart—
a map of moments lived.
College will come.
your first taste of freedom—
the world opening before you
a horizon wide with possibilities.
and maybe you’ll meet her—
the one whose love
will wrap you in warmth and wildness
who will become your center
as your hands build a future from hope.
And you’ll work.
laying each stone
turning ambition into action
a foundation strong enough
to hold the weight of dreams.
Maybe, one day
I’ll hold your child—
tiny fingers curling around mine
feeling the weight of their promise.
a new life
already dreaming of the future.
and in time
your children’s children will run—
their laughter like rain on dry soil
filling the earth with memories.
a forever legacy
from your heart to theirs…..
But none of that will happen
None of it—
Because I... / because we... /
decided... together...
to keep you from the world.
to fulfill our dreams apart…
where you’ll never feel the sun’s kiss.
never taste the first drop of rain.
never feel a snowflake touch your nose…..
never take a step…
never laugh…
never run…
never /
but now,
but n o w…
but n o w—
I’m lost in the weight of it
and I
don’t
know
how
to make it right
I—
O’ My Dear God!!
what have I done?
I’m so sorry,
my precious son.
I thought I could hold you in my hands
but now,
I’ve let you go…
I believed I was saving you.
but now, but…
but I ~see empty ~cradle...
and nothing else.
O’!! where your breath
should have been…
Please
forgive me
Please
forgive us
Jesus PLEASE….
…Do You Hear Me—
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