Love Poem: My Son I Still Sing To

My Son I Still Sing To

My Dear Son, It’s March I can already hear you— small feet like birds’ wings fluttering through the air skipping, hopping, laughing chasing me chasing you your laughter— a chorus that fills the house sharp and sweet as a bell tugging at the edges of the room….. Futures are fragile held like a delicate orchid between cupped hands— I see you!! your hair tangled with the wind. arms like branches reaching for the sky. legs slicing through the grass running for the ball learning the rhythm of joy in motion. We’ll play music too… piano keys— tiny doors to a world waiting. fingers dancing across them like sunlight on water pressing them into song. and guitar strings will sing beneath your touch interpreting the language of the heart. Sunday mornings we’ll rise before dawn— your hand so small, so warm in mine the familiar scent of old pews and stale coffee sinking into the fabric of us. the patter of prayers folding around us like a blanket— a comfort that stretches through time. In the classroom you’ll grow— from crayons to calculus sharpening your mind with each lesson. your friends gathered like stars in the night their laughter a river carrying you through the days. Grade School to High School— you’ll be a tree. stretching skyward. roots buried in lessons limbs bent by storms of youth. your voice breaking with the winds of change. a menagerie of mistakes and triumphs. your heart— a map of moments lived. College will come. your first taste of freedom— the world opening before you a horizon wide with possibilities. and maybe you’ll meet her— the one whose love will wrap you in warmth and wildness who will become your center as your hands build a future from hope. And you’ll work. laying each stone turning ambition into action a foundation strong enough to hold the weight of dreams. Maybe, one day I’ll hold your child— tiny fingers curling around mine feeling the weight of their promise. a new life already dreaming of the future. and in time your children’s children will run— their laughter like rain on dry soil filling the earth with memories. a forever legacy from your heart to theirs….. But none of that will happen None of it— Because I... / because we... / decided... together... to keep you from the world. to fulfill our dreams apart… where you’ll never feel the sun’s kiss. never taste the first drop of rain. never feel a snowflake touch your nose….. never take a step… never laugh… never run… never / but now, but n o w… but n o w— I’m lost in the weight of it and I don’t know how to make it right I— O’ My Dear God!! what have I done? I’m so sorry, my precious son. I thought I could hold you in my hands but now, I’ve let you go… I believed I was saving you. but now, but… but I ~see empty ~cradle... and nothing else. O’!! where your breath should have been… Please forgive me Please forgive us Jesus PLEASE…. …Do You Hear Me—