Not a Church Confession
Do forgive me, it has been a while,
And perhaps far too long, since I've been here last,
With you or with such burdensome weight.
Hands clasped between my thighs, awkwardly sitting,
And I swear and I could hear the ants go marching,
As I scramble for a spiel, some wit, or some cliched formality.
But I've lost my over-the-shower outline, over those tangled
Imissedyou's and howhaveyoubeen's we've just exchanged.
I'm left no choice but to begin this awful rant free of an awful segue.
So flashing a smile, then a (scared little) chuckle, I take a heavy breath
Then try to die (and sadly fail), I guess there's no exit. Finally, courage
So here goes nothing. "Here I am, and you are here with me,
With your face ever transcendent and ears poised
To hear from me, what sooner or later will no longer be
My secret. And for what it's worth, thank you for coming.
You look stunning by the way, and maybe I could end here,
With you finding, that in my heart you've always been
Such a very beautiful thing. Need much else be said?
But just as well, you are with him. Or with nobody. I do not know,
As long you are not with me, I do not care.
But let me say that I think, you were quite the everything I was looking for,
Ah, that you are not with me when I miss you,
And it's annoying that I will always miss you,
But we all learn to live with the things we do not have.
And now I'm okay. My secret is just that
It had not been easy."
Beyond that, there is no making this right again,
And there is no further peace I would like to regain,
And there is nothing to absolve me from,
There's no need for resolution,
This... is not that kind of confession.
And having loved you is no sin.
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