Numb
Sensing the death of something
That once brought more life than
The heartbeat or breath, faith
In the beautiful and intimate places
Where light kisses away the darkness
And music replaces the most horrible
Dread with a feeling so blessed,
So inspiring it rests amid the seas of
Tranquil revelations, soothing – comforting
As grace, and nearly as amazing
Ringing in the ears, indescribable
Slivers of dreams washing away hope,
Silencing the wonders, the dreams
Dusting even shadows with doubts
That tempt the feelings to listen
When there is desperation, despair
Reaching through the shimmering
Twinkling stars, winking at the moon
Revealing tenderness in the June
Nocturnal, bleeding blessings
In spite of the fears and tears, such
Futility filling the eyes, sparking
Shame that abides on the inside of the
Heart who knows that this is the way
When divorce divides the hope
And the bleak, pathetic – now useless
Feelings so that they no longer
Hear the heart’s beating, the breathing
Rich and vibrant, trembling
In hues of stardust, resting on the promises
Who now bring nothing from
Something beyond control, discouragement
Who swells with pride because it has won
The victory, disconnecting feelings
Who bleed through pale windows
To souls who are now hemorrhaging
Dying trust, fading dreams
Ending something that should
Never have been
Like snow in summer
Or tears who fall because
And, despite – with no reason
Falling like the dew, in season
Beckoning to the faded feelings
Dread responds, intimate
In death, as it was once in life –
Before the relationship crashed
Into the mangled wreck
Between silence and shouting,
Deafening prayers and coloring
Shadows in misery, dejection
Anguish that quakes and leaves only
The assurance that this is a place,
Somewhere amid pain and heartbreak,
Where the hurting begins to build
Walls to protect their sanity,
Walls so strong they shield even
Against the hope for affection
Walls this tall quiet every connection
Love, soon becomes – a disgruntled reflection
Suspended by chains of bitterness, who
Resents even the most pleasant relationships
Distance becomes a loneliness
Beyond comforting, a solitary feeling –
Forlorn like the love that once healed
The same love that twisted itself into joyless
Melancholic tears, isolated from tenderness
Because the walls built are edged with razor blades
Created by fear of the feelings who believe
The ones who agree that love is something
Beyond our grasp, something that comes to us
Only on the backs of monsters who kill
From the obscured inner portions, the heart
Who knows – only – that it must become numb
To the feelings who torture until it explodes,
Becoming only pieces of the whole,
Smothering love and hope with the blast
So that these feelings stay in hiding, beyond
the gentling of a new and truer love – one that lasts
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