Numb
Numbness spreading throughout my body,
Not knowing what to do or say.
I just have to try to make it through each and every day.
It's hard.
I feel numb,
Like when ice is left on your skin too long.
This numbness, it's strong.
I'm devoured in this trapped feeling.
Now I walk through each day in a dazed stupor,
Not knowing what to say or do.
It's hard to even fake a smile now, too.
It wastes my energy, what's left anyways.
Energy is being drained from my body,
Like water being poured out of a bottle.
I'm tired from trying to get out of bed,
I feel so numb, it's like I'm already dead.
Too much to wake up,
Too much to sit up,
Too much to think;
But how can I think if I'm so numb?
I can't.
In a way I like it.
No heartaches, sorrow, or sadness;
No shock, pain, or madness.
It's not there, it's all gone.
Numb from head to toe,
So numb I'm lost,
Don't know where to go.
I'm lost in this daze stupor.
But how can you FEEL numb, if you are numb?
It's nothingness that you feel.
It's true, not an idea or theory that's dumb.
The only other feeling is my head spinning like a wheel.
Devoured in numbness,
Not depression.
No need to cry, scream, or run.
For I am numb.
No touch I can feel,
No sound I can hear,
No scent that I can smell,
No vision I have to see.
Numbness is all I have in me.
If I try to speak, I'll scream.
If I try to see, I'll cry.
If I try to hear, my ears may bleed.
If I try to think, I would think I might die.
Numbness is my friend,
Always will be till the end.
The end is where I'll slip into and eternal slumber,
Where nothingness fills me.
In the end is where I’ll be
Slipping softly, willingly, into unconsciousness.
In the end it will be painless,
Even though life is painless now, thanks to the numbness.
Filling every inch of my soul,
Drifting into this mysterious realm.
A realm some may call death,
A realm of comfort, nonetheless.
I’m not fighting the moment.
I’m not wanting to, either.
I’m not afraid.
I feel it’s easier, better, to just…let go.
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