read when I'm gone
i wanted to say goodbye,
but i'm afraid I wasn't strong enough.
i haven't been able to look you in the eyes
these past weeks.
so instead,
I'll offer an explanation.
they told me from birth,
that i was never deserving
of your love,
but know
that this performance
will eventually be written as nothing more
than a dalliance with death.
I'm tired of being afraid
to be alive.
so I'm running.
i was always good at that.
wind beneath me,
hair flying back
so fast
that tears have no choice but to fly away.
where and what I'm running to
i do not know.
my greatest fear is that one day,
when you wake up,
you will look at me for too long,
and you'll see me how i see myself.
so my love,
i must leave us behind.
eclipse our memories
in a mere photo album.
perhaps
someday,
i will view them again,
look at our faces
in a sepia stained polaroid,
adorned with a layer of dust,
and smile.
our love knew no bounds,
but i fear i did.
and i fear,
that in my arrogance of youth,
i left you behind within them.
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