Reflecting the Brake From Back In the Day
Let bygones be bygones though bygones bite on
Blessed to have had good times it’s life it went wrong
though it hurts good memories
to the end they’ll always be
my friends and never enemies
mean the most I’ve ever meet
Maybe I had to blank it out cus moving on ain’t easy
for along while comatose mind stumped and sleepy
recently awoken confused but as thoughts now free
and clear my clear thought is I didn’t think clearly
In hindsight I see the weed held me in checkmate
couldn’t steer perspective from collision course and failed brakes
concussed confusion finds ease pointing blame at mates
messed up not perfect life doesn't offer two takes
conclusions have me doubting
when back then thoughts collapsed in
stopping short of the end
so now on these I can't depend
It’s scary when you can’t work it out
all’s unknown a fear constant doubt
trust none want alone mind drought
drained yet in the drain you drown
leaves you free of will and urges
no thought of do I deserve this
painless switched off ignorant bliss
simply forgotten by the mind it is
however over time the avoidance starts too rumble
with it layers of your very being shatter crack and crumble
earthquakes on the ground surrounding this bunker tunnel
you choose to be cocooned in as life's too much trouble
playing a game but not accepting cards dealt
refusal to play runs down your health
physically present mentally in stealth
unable to configure controls for yourself
refusal to pursue chokes you rotten
what complicated find's complications
chucked in waste no place for them
good times have a place for them
I've been up and down many a time left and right
even went around travelled far and out of sight
thoughts I've had were dumb thoughts of bright
but have to carry on with pride
good times leave me warm inside
what unsorted now not thought off
I'm no longer stewing over you lot
there's never anyone else like you
truth is I miss all I do
in the past I was blessed true
I confess I hate this mess too
how it broke up and fell through
but I'm so thankful it built in the first place
years of our lives in shared spaces
my faces now taken from those faces
but have to say this
thank you so much
memories leave me touched
so much so they often crush
broke clean let's never destruct
maybe in time we'll meet back up
if need be I'm still here to back you up
if you show me you're in it for me
then indefinitely friends infinity we'll be
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