Revealed
If I choose to show my agony to the whole world
I become labelled as an attention seeking nonsense
If I choose to hide it,
Behind self trained glamorous smiles
And behind thousands of 'I'm very well, thank you!'
Why,
I die little by little,
As if,
A drill was being thrust into my soul
Merely to suck it up and to turn it into nothingness!
Pray, in a mad world, running after its own meaninglessness
What am I to do?
Living hurts,
As does the weight of sad violin tunes
Living hurts,
As do shark bites when messed up we are in seas
Living hurts,
As is the sight of seeing those whom we hold close to us
Fade, slowly, into ghosts, till they disappear completely!
Why, if I do choose to open up and say
That I don't find my place here,
As it, being a world where purity is revered not,
Why, am I meant to be labelled as being too filmy?
Is it that things are to be taken lightly
That life is to be lived as it flows towards us
And not according to what we want it to be
As, humans, armed with machinery,
Shall never be able to change the course of rivers,
Being submitted, rather, to fear of itself changing its course
And destroying them, in return!
Why, I merely wish to be there where it has been painted
In those books of holiness
Books, holding the magic wands of life,
Having enough power to soothe our suffering,
Till we merge into it and transcend to where we are meant to!
I merely wish to be there,
But then, without Love's warmth,
Even there would be void
Resuming my happiness to be the state of it
Being consumed by the power of not existing!
My agony makes me who I am,
A being who finds life too painful,
A being who keeps struggling with God to be saved
A being who can only write, hoping that her words,
Or her next ones,
Will soothe her!
|