Riding the Carousel Again?
Have I jumped on the carousel again,
the one with no brass ring?
Where no matter which horse I ride I will
end up spinning in circles of despair?
I do not try to wonder why
for, with no ego, I believe jealousy plays a role.
Although I start to befriend, attraction begins,
searches for what is missing follows me everywhere.
I could talk free and easy when I saw you a friend,
yet now I am clumsy, nervous and timid.
I found you a kindred spirit, similar journeys shared.
That kind of understanding is attractive in its own way.
I twist in the wind, in the maelstrom I’ve created
just in trying to be a friend. Again.
I open myself up to the stories of the downcast
and to have an empathetic ear seems to drive them wild.
Maybe I bring it on. Maybe I ask for it.
Perhaps a part of me enjoys this little game.
I haven’t liked it so far and can’t tell if this is real,
but – man – I am really into my neighbor’s girl (idiot!)!
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