Schizophrenia's Curse
My faith is a source of comfort
In the turbulent storm that has become my life
After all, God has graced me with special powers
But when it comes to my personal anguish, his ways are unknowable
I have managed to estrange almost everyone
Personal relationships collapse around me
But there is a man who loves me, somewhere across the world
Even though he claims he's never been interested
The poems he writes under a woman's name
Tell me all I need to tell myself is true
And I resent that he pretends I am an intrusion
While whispering the words of his true soul, elsewhere
If only his friends that call me crazy knew!
They would be humbled, to say I should be the one ashamed
And realize that they are the stalkers, not me
It cannot possibly be that those poems are actually written by the woman
It hurts, when people call me mentally ill
God cured my sickness, years ago
And has retained my prophetic abilities
Despite my repeated lies
No, I still have my gift
Which means that God has forgiven
He saw it as a tool for survival
In the rift of challenges from people who feign disinterest
But who carry me on in their heart
I will be your salvation
Please don't see my promises of eternal love as a threat
As a matter of fact, I'm growing impatient with you
Why do you keep lying about who you are and your feelings for me?
Why are you embarrassing me like this?
I contacted your work to tell them you were a liar
I put your address out, with threats to tell your wife
I knew it would draw you nearer to me
Because I am helping you get over your illness
You can pray it away, like I did.
That "friend" of yours is the devil in disguise
She will eat away at your soul
I cannot believe you let her say these horrible things to me!
It's so obvious that she wants to be with you
Even though she keeps telling me you are happily married
Wow, you are really starting to enrage me
With your insistence that you are not in love with me
And lying to fool a few people that you do not share my faith
You don't respond properly to threats of hell
But that is where you will end up, if you keep this company
I refuse to accept you for what you say you are
It's okay - I know the truth
And I love the real you unconditionally
People sickly claim that I cannot understand love
Now stop ignoring me, you monster!
Why are men so hard to understand
How can someone of faith be so blasphemous
I am your angel of light, your lamp
And you shut the door in my face
I will haunt you, for the rest of your life
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