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My search started 24 years ago.
I was a little girl.
I wasn't looking for my teddy bear.
I wasn't in search of a friend,
although I could have used one.
I wasn't in search of any of life's big mysteries.
~
Laying in bed late at night I would hope and pray,
I would soon find what I was searching for.
Years pass as I fight the anger and all the hours of tears cried.
My search has gotten me no where.
I am diligent and keep on searching.
~
My search is the tricky kind
you can't see or feel what I am searching for.
You can't hear it or smell it either.
I know names and where to go to find them.
~
I'm not searching for a person.
I'm not looking to change the past.
I want to build the future instead.
~
I'm searching for the heart and soul of my mother.
wishing she would put the bottle down long enough to see.
I am still searching for my mothers love of me.
My search is not yet complete!
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