Sickness In My Soul
I’m in such a state of confusion,
I don’t understand what I’m doing
I know your there
And I know you care
But I can’t see you
I can’t hear you
I just don’t know what to do
I know your there in the stillness,
Waiting to heal this illness
There is a deep hole
A sickness in my soul,
Disease in the depths of my heart
But How to fix it
I wouldn't know where to start
How it came to be
Is a deep mystery to me
I know that I am broken
We all are in some way
But rarely are these things spoken
Rarely do I have the courage to say
The secrets kept within
The depths of my sin
But if I hide it how can it be healed
How can the healer heal?
If I keep my heart sealed
What if I let down my shield?
Will I be attacked or disgraced
Or will I be embraced
I’m too scared to find out
To be found out
So I hide my face
I only let people see part of me
I only let people get so close
I don’t want them to see
I don’t want them to know
And so I end up alone
I’ve been to the bar, the clubs,
All the social hubs
But no one cares about my hurts
Life’s all about chasing skirts,
Fancy cars and nice shirts
Or is there something beyond drunken nights, and flashing lights
Is there something really worth living for, an open door to something more?
An invitation to a new destination
A path to peace, a sweet release
A new life to claim, an escape from the shame
I believe there is, some days I forget
But my life isn’t over yet
Tomorrow is a new day
I can live life your way
With love and peace
With guilt and shame released
With a new heart
And a new start
A reason to live
And something to give
To this broken earth
Of invaluable worth
At my very core
I know I was born for more
Than to live and to die
Without knowing why
I don’t have it all figured out
But I know without a doubt
That the world needs love
And that love comes from above
Because human love is not enough
That is why there is a deep hole
And a sickness in my soul
But to me has been revealed
The way to be healed
Now I have a mission
A reason for existence
To bring healing to the earth
To the unloved, the broken, the rejected
And tell them what they are worth
So that Jesus’ love will be reflected
And this love will give birth
To many people being resurrected,
Redirected and completely accepted
To a wonderful and glorious rebirth
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