The Almonds Incident
THE ALMONDS INCIDENT
We got back from our power walk
about an hour ago
After changing clothes, she sat on the
sofa with a fizzy juice cocktail and her
novel of the week
Remaining in the kitchen, I brought out
a bag of roasted and salted almonds to
enjoy with my own juicy drink
One moment later, in came my wife in a
peach tank top, striped pajama pants, shining
grey hair, her fingernails and toenails painted
the color of “La Vie en Rose”, who snatched
up a handful of those exquisite tasting almonds
from the small (OK, large, nearly full) bag on
the table and returned to the living room like
a Diane Keaton character having just made
a point in a most lady-like way!
One moment later, she started back toward
the kitchen and I quickly hid the bag of
almonds among the magazines and newspapers
on the bench next to me
“Where are they?!”, she said, her words falling
into the spreading quicksand of my nonplussed
expression
“You hid them!”, she said, palming a handful
of almonds right out of my bowl and returning
to the living room with that sexy, indignant
walk and petulant smile that only a long-married
woman can pull off
It was a sensual experience to finish up my
almonds and look ahead to the weekend and
our niece’s big wedding where my wife will
be wearing a long navy blue dress and the
sexiest navy blue stacked high-heeled
wedge pumps I have ever seen in my
life!
The bride will be pretty.
My wife will be stunning!
I…will be out of my mind!!!
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