The Bomb Within
Tick tick tick. This bomb inside is hidden, though breaks all when released. I sit here knowingly, as this bomb ticks slowly towards its burst. Some thoughts are easy to keep in mind, as to slow this ticking down, though it never stops. Tick tick tick. As the rhythm goes on, I tune out to its sound. Soon before I know, your face comes to view. Anger fills my eyes, towards what, I do not know, which confusion has turned away. This confusion keeps away your calm words, placing this sound. Tick, tick tick. The beat sings louder as you hold me. I yell and kick and scream, in an attempt to chase away the confusion. Though one has done nothing to be wrong, stress lies within a similar thought, pushing away the rest. I don’t know why it is, but when I feel your love, this ticking rings stronger. I push away, and feed the thought in mind. As you walk away, I scream again, for I don’t want this love to leave. Confusion comes again, as I chase you away, while wanting you close. Soon I see your cry. Tick tick tick. The ticking is a scream, and my mind is locked away. I hear it reaching its peak; this bomb ready to blow. I need you close, though the confusion urges me to push away. At a point like this, reality has left, leaving behind this beat. I’ve pushed you far from me, though now in your arms is where I long to stay. Regret comes quick, as the ticking breaks through. The bomb goes off. The ticking has stopped. All seems gone as I hold close this knife. The ticking is gone, and soon will I be. I’ve lost control of what is or is not, though I know the ticking is gone, and I know what will come, as my hands tremble. This blade feels light, keeping away the ticking. I hear silence, as all will be lost, while all but silence is tumbling in my head. A thought that will soon be gone, as the knife makes its mark. Before I know where all has gone, I find myself locked again within. No knife, no thought, as I lay in your arms. I knew all was lost, though now I know other thoughts. Thoughts of safety; of regret. As I’m finally in your arms, I long again to be rid of. I hear the hum of your voice, chasing away this confusion. I chased you away, left you to cry, though still you come back to hold me. I’m relieved to be without that confusion, and with only the love of who is there, which was always you. As I lay here with you, I calm slowly into sleep. Before I rest my eyes, my mind hears not a sound. Not a sound, but a slow, soft, beat. Tick tick tick, goes the bomb within
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