The One Thing I Will Always Own, But Then I Don'T
It’s confusing
All of the voices in my head
It’s like I don’t know who I am anymore
I’m not me
And I’m defiantly not the people in here
I’ve disappeared
Yet… I haven’t
because every day I look through
someone else’s eyes
Because I have been unwound so many times
Yet I still go on
I have seen life
I have seen death
I have died, and that’s saying something
I can’t remember how to speak
How to taste or how to smell
I can only remember how to think
But that’s not doing me too well
Considering I can’t remember how to yell
How to say IM STILL HERE
And ask my parents to undo it
But they are probably dead and gone too
Unlike you
Or me
Or whoever this person may be
So I get no choice in the matter
Because I have memories too
Even if I am missing some of them
I remember my sixth birthday
Wetting my pants on the bouncy house,
And saying it was sprite I spilled,
But my mother new better
She swept me away
And saved the day
By getting me a new pair of pants
I remember
The first girl I kissed
How she tasted on my lips
And that time that I danced with her
With no music playing
But the worst of all
Is that I can’t remember her face
She had a button nose
And long blond hair
Beautiful green eyes
And a serious stare
But when I try to put it together
And trust me I do try
I lose myself in the thought
And begin to try and cry
But I can’t remember how
The least I can get out is a sigh
Because I don’t control myself anymore
Because it’s not me
And I don’t control how to cry
The other people in here
Don’t care about her like I do
They don’t remember how she pleaded
With my parents to keep me alive
Saying she could help me do better in school
As if
I was a horrible student
But I don’t remember my grades
Cause I’ve lost that part of my brain
I also can’t feel the rain
On my shoulders from that night
With someone
But who
I can’t remember
That was cut out too
|